Dating etiquette can be a tricky topic, especially for those who are new to the dating scene or who may not have been on a first date in a while. There are many factors to consider when planning a first date, from choosing the right venue to deciding on what to wear and how to behave at the table. In this article, we'll explore some essential tips for navigating dating etiquette like a pro.
Choosing the Right Venue
When it comes to choosing a venue for your first date, there are a few things to keep in mind. First and foremost, think about your personal preferences and those of your date. It's important to choose a venue that you both will enjoy, so take some time to discuss your interests and find a place that suits both of you. If you're not sure what your date likes, ask them for some ideas or suggestions.
Dress Code
Another important factor to keep in mind when selecting a venue is the dress code. You don't want to show up in jeans and a t-shirt to a fancy Michelin star restaurant that requires a jacket. Make sure to inform your date of the dress code beforehand to avoid any confusion or discomfort.
If you're unsure about the dress code, you can always look it up online or ask your date. It's better to be overdressed than underdressed, but make sure to dress appropriately for the occasion. It's also important to make sure your clothes are fresh, well-ironed, and fit you properly.
Your overall look also includes your hair and nails. Make sure your hair is clean, well-combed, and styled in a way that suits your personality and makes you feel comfortable. For women, it's best to go minimal with makeup and highlight your best features. Don't forget to polish your shoes if it's raining or if they're scuffed.
Punctuality
Arriving on time is important for a successful first date. In most cultures, it's acceptable to be up to 15 minutes late, but it's important to let your date know if you're running behind. If you know in advance that you'll be late, inform your date as soon as possible.
If you're the woman and you arrive early, it's best to wait at the bar or take your seat if there isn't one. Avoid showing up too early, as it could make your date feel rushed or uncomfortable. Remember, punctuality shows respect and consideration for your date's time.
Seating Arrangement
If you arrive early, make sure to take the seat with the best view of the restaurant. If you're a man, you can wait for your date at the bar or take a seat that provides a view of the door, so you can stand up and greet her when she arrives.
If you arrive together, a host or hostess will likely lead you to your seat. In this case, the woman should go first, followed by the man. If there's no hostess, the man should lead the way to the table.
If the man wants to help the woman get seated, she should accept the gesture gracefully. The man should pull out the chair from his right side, allow the woman to walk in, and gently push the chair inwards to adjust the seating distance between her and the table. When the chair is being pulled out for her, the woman should remain standing, slightly bent at the knees, and then allow the man to push in the chair before taking her seat.
Table Manners
One of the most frequently asked questions about first date etiquette is what to do with your phone and bag. It's important to remember that phones, sunglasses, and bags do not belong on the table. The only thing that should be on the table is food.
If you have a bag or clutch, you can place it behind your chair or on your lap covered with a napkin. As for your phone, it should be on silent and put away in your bag or pocket. If you're expecting an emergency call, let your date know beforehand and place your phone on the table with the screen facing downwards. If you do receive an emergency call, excuse yourself from the table and take the call elsewhere.
Ordering Food
When it comes to first date dining etiquette, there are a few rules to keep in mind. First, use the napkin to signal that you're ready to order and let the inviting party make the order. Be mindful of the price range and don't order anything significantly more expensive than your date. If they haven't ordered dessert, don't order one unless encouraged to do so. If you have allergies, let your date know in advance to avoid any issues.
Avoid discussing weight or dieting, and match your eating pace to your date's. It's also a good idea to eat something beforehand to avoid coming to the date too hungry. When it comes to finishing your meal, it's generally best to leave something on your plate, but be aware of cultural differences. Finally, avoid ordering something you've never tried or dishes that are difficult to eat.
Body Language
When it comes to first dates, body language is a crucial element that can reveal whether or not someone is attracted to you. From subtle cues to more obvious signals, paying attention to nonverbal communication can help you understand what's going on. If you're unsure what to look for, check out a video on the signs of attraction.
However, it's important to respect boundaries and not touch your date on the first date, as this can make them uncomfortable. Stick to safe conversation topics like movies, books, and travel, and ask open-ended questions to encourage dialogue. Remember that people love talking about themselves, so showing an interest in your date can make them feel appreciated and happier.
Be Yourself
We are drawn to people who make us feel good about ourselves, so being authentic and allowing our date to be themselves is crucial to building a connection. Pretending to be someone you're not on a first date is a recipe for disaster. It might seem tempting to present a false version of yourself, but it's not sustainable in the long run.
If you're a jazz lover, don't pretend to be a huge rock fan just to impress your date. When you're genuine, you attract the right people who appreciate you for who you are. If a relationship develops, you won't have to spend every day pretending to be someone else. So show up as your true self and let your date do the same.
Who Pays?
The general etiquette rule is that the inviting party pays the bill, but it's important not to make assumptions. Instead, observe your date's body language when the bill arrives. If they immediately take out their card, they are likely the inviting party and will cover the bill.
If they hesitate, you can offer to split the bill, but be prepared to graciously accept if they decline. If you're the inviting party and intend to pay, discreetly leave your card with the cashier before dinner to avoid any awkwardness when the bill arrives. This way, you can simply pay at the bar and leave after your meal without any hassle.
Saying Goodbyes
When it's time to say goodbye on a first date, there are different ways to do it depending on the level of familiarity and comfort. A hug is appropriate if you're already friends, but if you're strangers, a handshake or wave might be more appropriate. If you're a man, it's best to follow the woman's lead. It's important to end the date before losing interest, leaving both parties with a desire to see each other again.
If offered to go somewhere else, politely decline with a simple "no, thank you." If you're interested in seeing them again, express it honestly and without making false promises. Remember, the first date is just a chance to meet someone new, so don't feel obligated to continue if it's not the right fit. Keep it simple and enjoy the experience.