At the heart of every request lies an opportunity for growth. As a content creator and etiquette coach, I'm dedicated to providing my subscribers with valuable and engaging etiquette content. Lately, I've received numerous requests for a video on the art of walking, sitting, and standing with elegance and poise.

Inspired by your curiosity, I am thrilled to introduce a new series of videos called "Deportment," where we will explore the art of carrying oneself with finesse and sophistication. In our previous deportment article, we delved into the importance of maintaining good posture and mastering the art of walking.

Today, we continue this journey in this article by uncovering the secrets to standing elegantly, sitting with grace, and even picking up dropped items with effortless charm. Keep reading to learn more.

Significance of a Good Stance

Imagine a scenario where you're not walking, but standing. Did you know that even in this seemingly simple act, you have the opportunity to make a profound impression on those around you? Whether you're attending a reception or a lavish buffet party, your stance speaks volumes about your personality and level of confidence. In fact, it can be a deciding factor in how others perceive you. But fear not, as we're about to reveal the keys to mastering a good stance.

Two Types of Stance

Below are two main types of stance and how to execute them in your day-to-day activities.

1. The Confident Stance

A confident stance is an invaluable asset, especially in high-stakes situations like job interviews or presentations. It radiates self-assurance and competence, leaving a lasting impact on your audience. To achieve this stance, start by positioning your feet at hip-width apart.

This simple adjustment allows you to physically occupy more space, projecting an air of authority. Interestingly, even in the animal kingdom, creatures extend their bodies to appear more powerful. By firmly grounding yourself, you'll feel balanced and poised, which will naturally enhance your communication. Remember, a confident stance starts with a strong foundation—maintaining good posture.

2. The Elegant Stance

Perhaps your goal is to project an image of elegance and femininity. In that case, a different stance is in order. Begin by placing your feet together, then position one foot behind the other, ensuring the ball of your front foot touches the midpoint of the back foot. Shift your weight predominantly to the back foot, rendering the front foot nearly weightless. You can verify this by gently lifting the front foot. If it rises effortlessly, that means the weight distribution is correct.

Subsequently, place the front foot back down and bring your knees inward. This elegant stance offers a graceful and slender appearance, making it ideal for those seeking a more refined and feminine presentation. Take a moment to observe yourself in the mirror, comparing the two stances side by side. Notice the significant difference in how much space you occupy and how your body appears more streamlined and poised in the elegant stance.

Maintaining Stance in a Group Picture

The power of a well-executed stance extends even to group photos. Instead of standing straight with your feet together, employ a clever technique to enhance your appearance. Slightly shift your stance to the side, allowing for a more flattering angle. This subtle adjustment can make a world of difference in how you look in the final picture, highlighting your presence and confidence.

Understanding the Art of Sitting Gracefully

When you take a seat, it's crucial to consider your posture and the comfort of those around you. To help maintain a good posture while seated, I encourage my students to imagine a delicate little kitten or puppy nestled behind their backs. This mental image serves as a gentle reminder not to slouch or close the chair abruptly.

If the chair has arms, you can utilise them as a means of support. After sitting down, feel free to adjust yourself slightly backward or inward, using the chair's arms for assistance. However, if the chair lacks arms, positioning yourself in the middle of the seat ensures easy mobility and facilitates standing up when necessary.

Leg Placement

Just as good posture is essential for the upper body, proper leg placement contributes to an overall polished appearance. For men, it's advisable to keep their feet slightly apart, firmly grounded on the floor. Avoid shaking your legs, as it can convey nervousness or anxiety.

Women seeking a confident look can adopt a similar approach but with their feet slightly closer together. Picture Queen Elizabeth's poised stance, where she firmly keeps both feet together on the ground to exude confidence. On the other hand, if you prefer a more elegant and feminine posture, consider the three Royal seating positions: the Dutch slant, Cambridge cross, and the Sussex seat.

1. Dutch Slant

To assume the Dutch slant, keep your knees and feet together while inclining them to one side. You can choose to tilt them to the left or right, depending on your preference. This position creates a graceful inclination while sitting.

2. Cambridge Cross

For the Cambridge cross, cross your legs at the ankle while keeping your knees together. This creates a secure and confident seated position. By crossing your legs, you ensure that there is no visibility through your skirt or dress.

3. Sussex Sit

The Sussex seating style is a blend of the Cambridge cross and the Dutch slant. Cross your legs, and then slant them to the side. This position, popularised by Meghan Markle, creates an illusion of longer legs when seated. You can slant your legs in either direction; choose the one that feels most comfortable to you.

Taking Your Seat the Right Way in an Interview or Meeting

Learning how to sit gracefully is a skill that is particularly valuable during job interviews or meetings where a handshake is involved, and maintaining eye contact is crucial. To execute this manoeuvre flawlessly, follow these steps: Firstly, walk backward without turning your head to look at the chair. This ensures uninterrupted eye contact, a vital element of effective communication.

As you continue walking backward, you'll eventually feel the chair with your calves. At this point, subtly use your hand to confirm its presence without breaking eye contact. Finally, lower yourself into the chair, all while maintaining steady eye contact. By employing this technique, you seamlessly transition into a seated position without compromising your connection with the person you're engaging with.

Picking Up Dropped Items

Finally, let's address the proper way to pick up dropped items. While I am not referring to heavy objects like boxes or books, it's important to maintain grace even when retrieving smaller items. Instead of bending from your back, which can strain your posture, remember to bend your knees. By squatting down, picking up the item, and standing up straight, you ensure a visually pleasing and poised movement.

Conclusion

Etiquette extends beyond basic manners; it encompasses the way we carry ourselves in various situations. By mastering the art of seating gracefully and maintaining poise in our movements, we project an image of confidence and respect.

Remember to practise the different seating positions and strive for elegance in every aspect of your interactions. Let's embrace the beauty of etiquette and make it an integral part of our lives. If you found this article helpful, don't forget to explore my other resources on etiquette for more valuable insights and tips.