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Handshake Etiquette

12 SEPTEMBER / 2023 / 10:34

Now that life has returned to normal, we are outside, meeting and greeting people, and socializing, let us refresh our memory about how to properly greet others with a handshake, what constitutes a great handshake, and which handshakes to avoid.

 

HISTORY

Before we go into the specifics of the correct and improper handshakes, let's look at their history. Handshakes with other people date back to the 5th century BC in Greece. Soldiers used to greet each other in this manner to see if the other person was carrying any weapons or not.

 

It implies that they’re coming to welcome each other unarmed, with no knife or weapon in their arms, and they are making the gesture of shaking hands with the other person to signify peace and harmony.

 

Though the concept of assessing if the other person has a weapon has evolved over time. The handshaking motion indicates that we are working to build a connection and rapport with the person we are meeting for the first time or perhaps we’re meeting repeatedly.

 

BAD HANDSHAKES

Let's start with some awful handshakes so we know what to look for when we meet someone with this type of bad handshake. 

When I explain them, I'm certain you'll recognize someone you've met at least once in your life, someone you know, or even you who's doing this kind of handshake will recognize the handshake and you'll be able to work on mastering it and having a perfect handshake.

 

1. FINGERELLA

Fingerella is the name given to the first handshake. As the name implies, this type of handshake just involves fingers. When you extend a portion of your hand to shake hands with someone, they will extend their fingers rather than their complete hand.

 

Unfortunately, women are worse at it, either because they are shy and don't want to go for a handshake, or because they stretch their fingers for a hand kiss and the man doesn't understand and instead gives them a handshake.

 

In any case, if you're guilty of the fingerella handshake, try to stop doing it. If you want to shake hands, you should extend your entire hand rather than just your fingers.

Try it at home by asking your sibling, partner, or friend to shake your hand using their fingers instead of their hand. And once you've given them a handshake or a finger shake, consider what type of impact you made on them.

 

What would you say to someone who just gave their fingers in a handshake? You'd probably use adjectives like timid, untrustworthy, and possibly not confident, which are qualities you don't want to be associated with. So, if you want to make a strong, confident impression on someone, offer your entire hand rather than just your fingers.

 

 

2.WET HANDSHAKE

The wet handshake is the second unappealing handshake. As the name implies, this is what happens when you shake someone's hand while their palms are wet.

Here are a few tips to avoid this type of a handshake.

 

  • If this is due to a hereditary predisposition, medical therapy, such as buttocks into your hands, may be able to help you overcome the problem. However, you should consult your doctor.

  • You could use baby powder. Dust it lightly within your palms.

  • Using makeup wipes is a good option. You might also use those wipes to blot the inside of your palms, so they aren't damp before you give your hand for a handshake, especially if you have oily skin.

  • Another old trick is to have a handkerchief with you so you may gently pat it on the insides of your palms to make them drier when you extend your hands for a handshake.

 

Another reason for a wet handshake is that you've most likely been holding a glass of cold champagne or wine in your right hand. When you're out and about at a social networking event, and you're offered glasses of alcoholic or non-alcoholic cold drinks, you're holding one.

 

And when it comes time to shake hands, your hand is damp from the glass. In that case, I would recommend always holding the glass in your left hand so that your right hand is always dry and ready to be offered for a proper handshake.

Even if you have developed the technique of a perfect handshake, if your palms were wet when you extended your hand to someone else, I guarantee you that the lingering aftertaste of your handshake will be unpleasant.

 

 

3. BONE CRUSHER

 The third bad handshake is known as a bone crusher. Again, as the name implies, this type of handshake attempts to demonstrate that they have a firm handshake when, in fact, they do not. It's only trying to break your bones. It's painful. That handshake is so unpleasant that you want to get rid of it as soon as possible.

 

If you know someone who does that, I'm sure you don't have a good feeling about them. And if you are guilty of doing so, try to avoid it.

 

When trying to gain power, avoid causing harm to others' hands. A firm, engaged handshake, rather than one that crushes other people's bones, establishes power.

 

Also, for women, especially those who enjoy wearing large rings, when you're out and about to meet someone or greet someone you know, you'll be offering your hand for a handshake frequently. Make sure you don't have any heavy rings on your right hand. Change it to the left hand so that the rings on the right are more delicate. So that when you shake someone's hand, you don't hurt it.

 

If you're a Bonecrusher or know someone who does the bone crush handshake, you should know that they're never the most powerful. They're the ones who want to appear to be.

 

 

4.  DEAD FISH

The dead fish is the term given to the fourth bad handshake. As the term suggests, that means inactive or not engaged. The other person who offered you their hand in a dead fish manner is when they offer their hand, and it is not engaged in a handshaking process. So, they're offering their hand to be shaken rather than shaking yours.

 

So, when someone offers you dead fish, you may have the impression that person lacks initiation skills, lacks leadership skills, is not very proactive, and does not take initiative.

 

It's not a pleasant sensation, so if you're guilty of doing dead fish, try to engage your hand in the handshake. Do not simply extend your hand for a handshake. Shake the other person's hand as well.

 

 

5.BENT-ARM PULL IN

The fifth bad handshake is known as a bent arm pull-in. This is the type of gesture that President Donald Trump has made with other world leaders on numerous occasions, and I assure you that it did not make them feel at ease.

 

This is when the person greets you, shakes your hand, and then pulls your arm closer to them. Some people in certain cultures despise closeness. Keep in mind that they have more personal space. When greeting someone with a handshake, you must maintain the proper distance.

 

 

6.AGGRESSIVE PUMPER

The sixth poor handshake is called an aggressive pumper. As the name implies, it's understandable that the person greeting you with a handshake is holding your hand for an extended period and pumping it very forcefully up and down.

Again, President Donald Trump was guilty of this, and he has made many world leaders uncomfortable as a result. You can see a video of President Donald Trump greeting Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe. That put him in a very awkward position.

So, when greeting people from other cultures, remember that not everyone enjoys prolonged physical contact.

 

 

PERFECT HANDSHAKE

After we've looked at some of the worst handshakes, let's take a look at the techniques or rules for the perfect handshake.

 

  1. WRAP FINGERS

When you do a handshake, you extend your hands straight in a line parallel to your natural body line. Then, make sure your fingers are wrapped around the hand of the person you're greeting. This process involves your fingers as well.

 

  1. WEB TO WEB

Number two rule. When you go for a handshake, make sure that the web of your hand touches the web of the other person's hand so that you can feel the connection. This will help you in establishing a more rapid or otherwise trustworthy relationship with the other person.

 

  1. FIRM GRIP

Make sure to shake the hand firmly now that your hands are connected, web to web fingers wrapped around the other hand. Firmly implies that you must feel the other person's hand in yours and actively participate in the handshake. You do not simply extend your hand to be shaken, nor do you attempt to bone crush the other person's hand.

 

  1. ELBOWS AT 90 DEGREES

The fourth rule is that your elbow should be at 90 degrees, but this can vary depending on the situation.

If you're standing up to meet someone who is seated, or if you're seated but can't get up for some reason, you're meeting someone who is standing, this trajectory can change.

However, when both of you are standing, your elbows should be at 90 degrees.

 

  1. 3-5 PUMPS

Remember the intense pumper who would pump it for hours on end? The general rule for a proper handshake, in this case, is 3 to 5 pumps.

 

If you do less than three pumps, it may appear that you are shy, insecure, and untrustworthy because you are attempting to avoid the handshake as soon as possible.

 

However, if you extend the handshake for more than five pumps in an aggressive manner, it may indicate that you are attempting to establish dominance, that you are being aggressive, and that you are possibly being pushy.

 

Remember to consider the culture of the person you're meeting with. In some cultures, elders are considered paternal when they hold the other person's hand, the younger person's hand, for an extended period, pumping it. People in other cultures try to use the least amount of punch pumps possible. So, whatever it is, keep in mind the culture of the person with whom you are shaking hands. However, the ideal number is between 3 and 5 pumps.

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  1. "UP AND DOWN" MOTION

The sixth rule for a perfect handshake is that it should be done in an up and down motion. It shouldn't be side to side. It's not moving in a wavelike fashion. Keep in mind that you must pump your hand up and down.

 

  1. MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT

Rule number seven for a perfect handshake is to maintain eye contact with the person you're shaking hands with. This is critical for keeping our hands and eyes connected.

 

People offering their hands for a handshake may look at their own hands or the hand of the person with whom they are shaking hands. This is not the proper way to do it because it may give the impression that you're trying to hide something or that you're not someone who can be trusted or relied on because you can't look the person in the eye.

 

If you find yourself staring at your hand, remember to return your gaze to the person you're shaking hands with.

 

  1. SMILE

The eighth rule for a perfect handshake is, of course, to smile. When you shake the other person's hand, make sure to give them a genuine smile as well. When they look you in the eyes, make sure to smile because that translates as trustworthiness, warmth, someone who can be trusted, and someone who can be approached. And you want that first impression to last, so don't forget to smile.

 

  1. STAND UP

The ninth and final rule for a perfect handshake is to stand up when shaking hands with another person. On foot, various reading forms took place. This is about demonstrating to the other person that you value them. You are physically present to shake their hand or greet them in any other way.

 

Of course, there are some situations in which you are unable to physically get up. Maybe you're at a concert where there are a lot of seats and everyone has taken them all, and you physically can't stand up on your own. Then you gently rose from your seat, saying, "Excuse me, I can't stand up." Extend your hand for a handshake.

 

Or, if you're in a meeting room and seated at a table, and someone comes in, you won't be able to fully stand on your feet. Simply gently raise yourself from the seat.

 

Again, excuse yourself and explain that you are unable to fully rise. Excuse yourself, and then extend your hand for a handshake. However, if you're seated in a room and someone walks in and you can physically get up, make sure to stand up and offer your hand for a handshake.

 

On my YouTube channel, I also talk about etiquette, soft skills, self-development, and book reviews.

Source: Handshake Etiquette