Over the years, I have constantly received comments on - my speaking style and tone of voice. I'm humbled by the many kind messages I receive, with some people mentioning that my voice makes them feel relaxed while others say it helps them fall asleep. I'm grateful for the positive feedback and would love to share some tips with you on how to develop a more refined and graceful speaking style.

So, in this article, I'll be offering some guidance that I hope will help you become a more elegant and soft-spoken communicator.

A Short Story About My Voice

In university, I failed a voice test that required speaking at different volumes. As a result, I worked with a voice coach for a semester, doing exercises and vocal massages to improve my ability to speak at higher volumes. While our vocal cords are predetermined, the tone, volume, and overall perception of our voice can be adjusted through practice. It's important to recognize our inherent vocal capacities while working on other factors that influence the way we speak.

10 Tips to Speak Softly and Elegantly

Below are several tips I have learned over the years that shaped by speaking skills.

1. Proper Breathing for Elegant Speech

Breathing is a fundamental component of effective communication, and proper breathing technique is essential for speaking softly and elegantly. Without adequate breath support, speech can be strained and difficult to understand. To breathe properly, it is important to use your diaphragm, rather than your chest, when inhaling.

A helpful exercise is to place your hand under your last rib and inhale, allowing your stomach to expand outward. Exhale and draw your stomach in. Practising this technique before giving a speech can help you to speak with greater ease and clarity.

2. The Importance of Posture

Good posture is a crucial element of clear and effective speech. When sitting or standing up straight, your body is better able to support your breathing and project your voice. Hunching your back or tucking your neck into your shoulders can make it difficult to breathe properly and may cause your voice to sound strained or muffled. By maintaining good posture, you can speak more confidently and with greater clarity.

3. Speaking Slowly and Clearly

Speaking slowly and clearly is a hallmark of elegant speech. Rushing your words or cramming too much information into a single sentence can make it difficult for your audience to follow your message. By pausing and taking your time, you can speak with greater control over the pitch and volume of your voice. This can help ensure that your message is delivered clearly and effectively.

4. The Power of Enunciation

Enunciating your words and emphasising certain syllables can have a significant impact on the meaning of your message. By adjusting your enunciation, you can convey different shades of meaning and add depth to your speech. Practising with tongue twisters, such as "red leather, yellow leather" or "Sally sells seashells by the seashore," can help you to improve your enunciation and deliver your message with greater clarity.

5. The Importance of Proper Grammar

Using proper grammar is a key element of clear and professional speech. Slang or abbreviated words can be confusing or off-putting to your audience, and may detract from the impact of your message. By using correct grammar and avoiding colloquialisms, you can ensure that your speech is precise and effective.

6. Expanding Your Vocabulary

Expanding your vocabulary is an excellent way to add variety and sophistication to your speech. Reading classical literature and poetry is a rich source of adjectives and verbs that can help you to describe things in a more elegant way. Using synonyms is another effective way to add nuance and depth to your language. For example, instead of saying "beautiful," you might use "gorgeous," "alluring," or "magnificent" to describe a flower. By expanding your vocabulary, you can elevate your speech and communicate more effectively.

7. Practise Whispering

Whispering is not necessarily a desirable speaking style, as it can be difficult for others to hear and understand. However, if you are naturally inclined to speak in a loud or expressive way, practising whispering can help you to become more comfortable using a low-volume voice.

One way to practise whispering is to play a game with a partner or roommate. Sit close to each other and speak in a whispering voice, trying to ensure that your partner can hear you clearly. You can then gradually increase the distance between you and your partner to make the game more challenging.

8. Hydrate Your Vocal Cords

Drinking water is essential for anyone who wants to improve their speaking abilities. Hydrating your vocal cords can help to ensure that your voice sounds clear and calm. When giving a speech or recording a video, it is important to avoid dehydrating beverages such as coffee or alcohol, as these can make your voice sound raspy or strained.

To warm up your vocal cords and prepare for a speech or presentation, it can be helpful to loosen your mouth and relax your jaw. You can hum a tune, yawn, or move your jaw from side to side to release tension.

9. Record Yourself Speaking

Recording yourself speaking can be a valuable tool for improving your communication skills. By watching yourself from the side, you can gain insights into your body language, pacing, and tone of voice. This can help you to identify areas where you need to improve and focus your efforts on specific aspects of your speaking style. You can use your phone or a camera to record yourself on a regular basis, and then review the recordings to track your progress over time.

10. Understand Self-Awareness and Self-Discipline

Becoming a soft and elegant speaker requires self-awareness and self-discipline. You must first identify the areas where you need to improve, such as your volume, rate of speech, grammar, or vocabulary. Once you have identified these areas, you can work on them through self-discipline, practising regularly to develop new habits. Over time, these habits will become second nature, and you will find that speaking softly and elegantly comes more naturally to you.

11. Practice

Like any skill, improving your speaking abilities requires practice. The more you practise, the more comfortable and confident you will become in your speaking abilities. By incorporating the tips and techniques outlined in this guide into your daily routine, you can develop the habits and skills necessary to become a soft and elegant speaker. With dedication and persistence, you can achieve your goals and communicate more effectively in both personal and professional settings.